Olduvai Reads

there's a lot of unhappiness just oozing from me nowadays.

is it about job dissatisfaction?

but what if it isn't? what if i move into another job and then find myself equally unhappy?

was i ever a happy person?

what if it's really just me?

(i can see it all now.... i'll be the grouchy old hag sitting in the corner desk complaining about the coffee and tea, complaining about the aircon, complaining complaining complaining)

i have to do the very sad job of forcing people to answer some surveys later today. at raffles place. and for a story that's not even mine.

on another note, the dean asked if i liked my job, saying that i look quite happy. maybe i shld've told him the truth, that i was only happy that night because i was out of the office! and the noise and the crowd was appealing to the side of me that likes the noise and the crowd.

but sometimes, i just feel like i shld go live on a mountain for a while. i was just remembering the blissful quiet that was margaret river. where the next residence/vineyard is more than 10 minutes away and you have all this open space to drive through. the nights are so quiet, you strain to hear something but there's not a sound. it takes some getting used to but by the end of it, you are just so appreciative of the stillness. you feel rested, calm and refreshed.

i think i need to feel like that. i need to .... rejuvenate. god i hate that word. sounds so spa-like. its like in bintan, when i woke up before the others to take a swim and just stare out at the sea. and not think about anything.

and not think about anything.