Olduvai Reads

I will turn 26 next month.

So that means I have less than a month to be married, at least to fullfill my silly childhood ideal of being married by the age of 25.
At that time, 25 seemed so old, so wise, so mature.
But at 25, I hardly feel that way.
I still feel like a kid - hardly ready to be an adult.
Barely even knowing what that word means.

And yet I have friends, my age or younger, who are married or who will be, by the end of this year.
Of course, I also have friends who are perfectly happy with singlehood at the moment.

But I guess, the question always in the back of my mind is:
HOw do you know that the person you're marrying is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?

When I think of the guys i've gone out with, and especially the two i guess i could say i was in love with, i wonder... was i really in love?
I mean, what is love and what does it mean to be in love?
And of course, that eternal question - is there really someone out there for me?

The first guy, well that was a relationship that was serious and also comforting but it was something i was not prepared for, that i was too young for.
it was a JC romance that carried on until uni (Yes i know, it was a long relationship), except for a 6-mth or so breakup in between that probably fired off many warning signs that i sorta ignored when we got back together after that...

some times later, well, last year to be exact, I found myself falling for someone.
and that somehow we clicked.

he made me happy
and then he went away
and for a while, i was sad.

and now it's been more than six months and i've not met anyone else i feel that i could get caught up in a whirlwind for.

but i've been going out and recently i've started wondering - what kind of an impression i make on people.

i've always been a quiet person, i know that.
my pri and sec sch teachers never failed to remind me every year in the report books.

i think i've opened up a lot more since last year though!

but i guess i'm not exactly the bubbly chirpy type. definitely not the life of the party type. and while i think i'm getting better at speaking to pp i've just met, especially w a glass in hand, i'm not the sort who tells fantastic and funny anecdotes.

i hardly think there's anything interesting about me, although people always think my job is fascinating.

the only fascinating thing about it tho, sorry folks, is the interesting people i get to meet and the stories they tell me.

and i'm a firm believer that everyone has a story to tell.

i love listening to what people say - their ideas, their goals, their passion.

which is why giving up this job will not be easy.